There's no better day than Father's day to publicly acknowledge:
Sometimes dads get the short end of the stick.
I remember when I was about 11 years old I bought a hilarious
issue of MAD magazine. You know, MAD - the satire mag with the
picture of Alfred E. Newman on the cover.
One particular article was mocking the media, and had this
cartoon of the typical dad as he's usually portrayed on TV:
A bumbling idiot guy is stooped down in the kitchen, peering
into the oven with his hand on the temperature knob of the
stove. And he's saying, "Jeepers honey, I can't seem to find
channel 4 on the Teee-Veee."
Yep... the comedians give you a more accurate picture than the
news does, most of the time.
Consistently, dads are portrayed on TV as stupid. They're dumber
than mom, dumber than their mistress, dumber than the mouthy
teenage kids, dumber than the plumber.
My kids have "Berenstain Bears" books that we read at bedtime.
In these books, Papa Bear usually says stupid things and Mama
Bear usually corrects him.
Portraying husbands and dads as helpless fools is so common,
most of us don't even notice it anymore.
Or how about that old feminist slogan, "A woman needs a man like
a fish needs a bicycle"?
What a thoroughly slanderous thing to say. I fail to see the
humor. How is that any less insulting than, say, calling someone
a nigger?
Our culture freely and gleefully tears down men. It forges their
greatest strengths and highest aspirations into weapons that are
used against them.
And my job today, June 19, 2011, Father's day in the United
States, is to set the record straight.
Men are not fools nor are they pigs or idiots.
Millions of men labor long hours for their wives and families
and make great sacrifices for their loved ones. They set aside
their personal agendas every day at 6 or 7am and drive to work
and take great pride in caring for their families. They come
home after dark and do it all over again the next day.
Many a man is too busy providing for his family and attending to
his responsibilities, to try to argue with some bitter magazine
columnist or college professor who labels him as 'unnecessary.'
The fact that he IS necessary, and that people DO depend on him
in a very real way, is actually the source of his greatest
pride. It's inseparable from his identity: At his core, he
understands himself as the #1 defender and provider of those
whom he loves.
So why am I saying all this to you today?
Not to put down people who put down men; not to nurse a grudge;
but rather to say that on Father's day we need to take a minute
and untangle some of the lies and hurtful things that are said
about men.
Because 97% of the time, they're not true.
These lies must be untangled so that the truth can be spoken and
received:
If you are a man, a husband, a father, a provider, YOU are
worthy of honor and today is the day the world honors you. Today
I honor you for what you do, even though much of the time it may
feel like a thankless job.
THANK YOU for doing what you do.
And also, whether you are a man or a woman, a grandpa or a
teenager, there is probably some *other* man in your life that
deserves an embrace or an email or a phone call or a text
message - some small token of thanks and honor for being who he
is and doing what he does.
It's a day for all of us to honor each other for the ways that
we serve.
Now if you are a man and an entrepreneur then you sometimes have
TWO thankless jobs not one. Jobs which are often directly at
odds with each other.
And... if you're a *struggling* entrepreneur then you have a
triple whammy: The challenges of the two jobs and the tension
between the two... combined with injury to your pride because
you have not been able to provide as well as you dearly dream of
providing.
Not many people understand how deeply that moves you sometimes.
It's a private hurt, for the most part.
Please remember, it is a hurt that comes from the noblest of
intentions and the highest of aspirations.
Sometimes men and entrepreneurs alike are judged by other people
as just being selfish.
Sometimes our best efforts to give are misconstrued as attempts
to take.
All men struggle with this. You and me both. You're not alone.
Let me tell you a little story.
I've got this little group of friends at my church that
sometimes gets together for the sole purpose of praying and...
just listening.
Listening to what the Still Small Voice may have to say.
Waiting until something is heard, until Wisdom presents herself.
Sometimes those meetings are pretty quiet. Sometimes there are
long stretches of silence. It's a strange and special thing.
On one particular day I was seeking wisdom about this very
question - what to do with this feeling that, sometimes, my own
best efforts to give have been misconstrued by others as
attempts to take.
I wait and listen for awhile and after some time goes by, the
answer comes back: "People do that to Me all the time. They
interpret My best efforts to give as attempts to take. This is
an experience you and I both share, together."
Wow. A Father and a son having empathy for each other. Sharing
that mutual experience and bonding together, within that
experience. How human that is, yet... how supernatural.
So yes, today I acknowledge with you that shared experience. I
celebrate you and we all celebrate Father's Day and give HONOR
to dads. Dads who, even in all our imperfections, strive and
sacrifice to give the very best to those we love.
Seize the Day.
Perry Marshall
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